Your bad luck will make for a great story tomorrow.
The promised story about fighting cockroaches. You can skip pre-stories, but don't blame me later for not understanding anything.
Pre-story. Part 1.
I don't know if i ever mentioned it or not, but I'm afraid of cockroaches. More than anything in this world. Even more than my wife's anger :)
I know this is an irrational part of me, and one day Universe was like, I have something interesting for you!
Yes, that day, Louisiana State University invited my wife to do her Ph.D. and we moved to the suburbs of New Orleans. A place where live herds of the most beautiful, plump cockroaches, resembling shiny flying dates.
Yes, they can fly! As if the mere fact of the existence of cockroaches wasn't enough.
Pre-story. Part 2.
Every evening I talk on the phone with my parents while walking my usual five kilometers around the area. They know that if I suddenly yell, it's a cockroach, not a car that ran over me.
Pre-story Part 3.
Every evening I feed feral cats. At the very beginning of this venture, I was very joyful and naively tuned in to the whole world.
I built a warm house for them, put bowls, and a sign "This is a Cat's House".
We had unusual frosts in those days, and I just wanted to give the cats a chance to get through it. But, the next evening, the cat's house turned out to be broken and thrown out by someone.
Day by day, the cats and I organized a small den deep in one of the dense local bushes, away from people.
And FINALLY the story.
The other day, as always, I took a bag of food for my feral friends, called my mom, and went for a walk.
Approaching the bush inside which cat's bowls are hidden, I noticed a car full of teenagers not far from the bush.
I try to keep the cat's secret, so I decided to make a circle around the hood in the hope that the car would leave.
But the guys were in the mood for a long party, and even an hour later they were not going to leave. I had to go to the bush.
But coming close I saw a dozen cockroaches running among the branches.
I froze in place. No, no, no, I just cant' climb into a bush full of cockroaches. But I can't leave cats hungry either.
"Listen, you can put food in front of the bush," My mom is always ready to help.
"I cant. People will see that there are cats here and who knows what they will do with them. It's good if they just throw away the bowls," I whispered back.
"Well, then close your eyes and climb inside. Do everything quickly and clearly. And stop thinking about the cockroaches! They must be afraid of you too."
"Okay," I sighed, and climbed into the bush.
To reach the cat's bowls, I need to get on my knees and dive inside up to my butt. So if you look from the outside, you only see the legs sticking out of the bush.
I'm not a fragile little girl and I cannot seep through the branches like a fish.
I fall into it like a mature bear, and if you're already laughing, then yes, the cockroaches immediately began to pour on my head and under my collar.
I began to kick my legs, yell and pour food into the cat's bowls.
At the same time, from the side where the teenagers stood, some strange sounds began to be heard.
When I fell red and sweaty back out of the bush, I saw that in the car the teens were panicking. The girls are crying, giving me horrified looks, and beating the boys who are trying to start the car.
When they finally sped away with screeching tires, I realized what was going on.
Most likely they were carried away by each other and didn't notice how I climbed into the bush. But when I started yelling, they saw twitching legs sticking out of the bush near them.
It was already dark outside and only a lone orange lantern shone somewhere in the distance.
For a while legs and screaming subsided. I poured the food. And then the screaming resumed.
The bush is shaking, and the legs are dragging.
I don't know what they thought... What do you think?
Someone was eating my brain?
Sometimes, your little fears can make a good horror story for someone watching from the sidelines and it's not so bad to look between the branches.
Cheers! :)
Omg, I am terrified by roaches too! Growing up there of course I have stories about this flying mfers!! 😂 I am so sorry you had to deal with that but thank you SO much for looking out for the cats!
😁 😁 😁 😁 😁